Monday, August 8, 2011

O. Key

Ohhhkaaayy. O. Key. Mexico, when will you learn?

O. Key is a bright yellow Mexican pineapple soda that I found at a sketchy deli in my 'hood (the same place where I found the bottled Sangria). Michael and I were extremely nervous when opening this puppy.

Michael tried it first. I'm not sure I can accurately describe the look on his face and subsequent actions, but it approximated horror, disgust, placing the bottle down gently and slowly backing away without actually turning his back on O. Key -- for fear that it might leap out of the bottle and physically assault him. And then the inevitable: "You gotta try it." Sigh.

I smelled it first: nothing special. I brought it to my lips, hesitating. I almost held my nose, but managed to get one sip down before practically throwing it across the room in disgust. Sticky sweet pineapple grossness filled my mouth. That was it. The rest was going down the drain.

I'm sorry, O.Key. You are disgusting.

Your bottle cap is kind of gnarly, too. But I realize that can't be helped. You've been sitting on the back shelf at Sketch-City-Bodega for what could possibly have been years, developing a film that I'm not sure anyone can scrub off.

All I can do is rescue you from deli purgatory. I hope you appreciate what I've done for you. What have you done for me lately, except provide fodder for a blog post? I guess that will have to do.

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